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hey this is Leo for actualise org and in this video I want to talk about why men cheat why do men cheat this video is for the ladies I know that so many ladies are really struggling with this you're struggling with getting a guy to stick around to lock him down and maybe you've had situations in the past a lot of you women have where a guy has cheated on you and that hurts you very very badly and you don't understand why they do it you think that you're this nice girl you're doing everything that he wants you are taking care of your health and you're maybe even attractive and all this stuff and he's still cheats or maybe you aren't those things and he cheats so there's many different reasons and I want to go in this video and cover all the different reasons my top reasons for why I think men cheat and I want to also give you the deeper understanding what's really going on here about male attraction because I think that there's a fundamental problem is that women I find don't really understand how men think I see a lot of women thinking that they understand how men think because they've they've heard about it in a culture or in in the media and they think that they understand how men think most of you women don't really understand how men properly think you understand this sort of very neutered version of how a man thinks and that's causing some problems because as soon as you do start to understand how men think and what men are attracted to then it all of a sudden doesn't become quite as surprising you're not surprised by some of the behaviors and then take and there's also some factors here that you could tweak some variables that you can tweak in your favor so you can make sure that men don't cheat on you as often you can't guarantee that they never will but you could do some stuff that will certainly help so we're going to go into all that in this video let's build a foundation here the fun foundations that men are extremely sexual most men are especially if they're in their 20s 30s and 40s the male sex drive is very strong and men are much more sexual than you think they are so I know that you think that you know that men are sexual and that seems like oh that that's obviously oh no it's not obvious they're much more sexual than what you currently think they are your man is she bisexual he's also extremely visual you have to understand that what men are attracted to in the partner that they want to be with is very very different than what women are attracted to the mistake here is to think that what you're attracted to in a man is what a man is attracted to in you no no no no no big big big wrong assumption that's not how it works what a men are attracted to through tracted to the body they're attracted to visuals men men's attraction is 95% visual this is critical because some women will think that all men are attracted to confidence men are attracted to humor and funniness men are attracted to a woman who has her life together no no man is attracted to any of that men will like that in their girlfriend they'll like that in their wife bill like for a girl to have her life together but they're not actually attracted to that they're attracted to her body they're attracted to her face they're attracted to her ass that's what they're attracted to the rest is bonus it's like the cherry on top of the ice cream right the ice cream sundae it's the cherry on top so don't make the mistake of inverting that and saying that your confidence and your funniness and all that that that is the ice cream and the cherry on top is really looks that might be the case for you but that's not how a man sees it now you got to take a step back here leave your ego at the door because I see a lot of women what they do is they immediately come in with all sorts of responses and rejection you know rebuttals to this argument and and they keep saying these various different counter points just hear me out be very open-minded here because this is not how you think it can be difficult to understand how the opposite sex thinks unless you become a little bit empathetic and step into their own shoes see I want to really put you through the process of how many gets attracted here's how it works a man is walking down the street 20 to 30 feet away he sees a beautiful girl the kind of girl that he likes it takes him about this long to get attracted to her how long did that take a third of a second a fourth of a second maybe takes him half a second sometimes it'll take him 1 to 2 seconds if he's got other stuff in his mind and he's a little busy that the computer processor is churning away on something else or sometimes if the girl is not very attractive if she's borderline attractive it might take him five seconds he might actually do kind of a little mental analysis and say oh yeah she's like she's got a nice face but like I don't like her but or she got a nice ass but I don't like her face or it's like oh I really like that girl right there but she's kind of like this hippie chick I'm not into hippie chicks right you might do that kind of like mental a little bit of mental analysis or it's not quite as instinctive but still it's fairly instinctive and if she's really really borderline and he's really really desperate for sex but he doesn't really like this girl and he would never take her for a girlfriend but he would have sex with her one time and that's it in that situation no maybe 20 seconds maybe 30 seconds it takes him to a little bit of analysis and this and then get attracted to her that's about it in most cases it's literally less than a second that's what you actually want it to be if you want a guy who's really into you you want him to get attracted instantly if it takes him a long time to get attracted to you he's not really into you now be the man here put yourself in the man's shoes you instantly get attracted now what does this have to do with with cheating well what this has to do is it's a simple logistics as a woman how do you get attracted as a woman you need to speak with a man for at least a few minutes you need to get a sense of his character is a his masculinity you're going to get a sense of his energy his vibe you a sense of Hewlett mostly stimulate you or not it takes a while to uncover those details you don't get those 30 feet away without even speaking to a man so as a woman it takes you what 30 minutes maybe 60 minutes maybe even a couple of hours or even a couple of days of knowing a guy to really get to know him enough were you kind of open up and you get really attracted you're like oh there's something really funny about him I like his little quirky sense of humor or at all like he's really confident these situations I've seen him in a couple of situations like I really like how confident he is there and of course all that is going on on subconsciously as well it goes on subconsciously for guys and for girls that processing is going on subconsciously there's a little bubble of consciousness here there but mostly subconsciously and then you get attracted to it so you've got to be cranked up like a dial right it takes a while to crank you up to build your attraction with a guy it's instant so what does this mean this means that just if those are the mechanics and it's easier for guys and a guy can get an attractive to a girl from 30 feet away without even talking to her then that just creates more opportunities right more opportunities and sometimes that's all you need is an opportunity and that's one of the big components of this explanation is that guys simply have more opportunities for getting attracted it gets acted more easily so they're more likely to find somebody that they have chemistry with and then have sex with them now this isn't an excuse I'm not saying that this is why men should cheat on you I'm simply saying these are the mechanics this is kind of the reality of the situation this is how male dating works right female dating works in a different way it has different dynamics see the other thing you understand is that this is a very heavy evolutionary component to this whole dating and attraction thing some women will tend to think of love as this this noble ideal these good emotions in this chemistry that you have together I mean it is those things but also can understand what is underpinning all that it's the emotional it's the evolutionary forces rather that our underpinning those those good emotions that you're feeling and what you call love you can also understand that there's other forces there besides the good emotions there's the desire to have the best mate possible every one of us if we're honest will admit that we want the best mate possible we always want to date someone out of our league we want to date up don't we don't you if you're honest about it I mean if you take a scale of attractiveness and hotness and value of a man or a woman and you kind of graph it out like this then you can place yourself somewhere and within that where's your value along that scale let's say somewhere in the middle where is your man's value along that scale usually it's also someone in the middle the man that you attract is going to be about at the same level of value that you're at so if you're a very low value you're going to attract the very low value man it's gonna be hard for you if you're low value as a woman to attract a very high value man it's gonna be very difficult because you're not going to be offering him what other women are offering them and vice versa if you're a low value man it's gonna be hard to attract a high value woman so there's this kind of a process going on all the time in in the dating market is that guys and girls are trying to you know find the best that they can get but they can't get too good because if they get someone too good problems start to happen and usually they don't get the attraction going in the first place now value for man for women are different things men are looking for certain things that are valuable in a woman and women are looking for certain things that are very different from that in a man now we all want to date up so the situation is that if you attract a man who's much higher value than you the problem is going to be is that he's going to know that and he's always going to be on the lookout for somebody else it's the same thing with you if you if you attract a man who's much lower value than you and you're higher value then whether you want to or not your eye is always going to look out for someone who's a little bit higher value because you want to date the hottest most attractive most confident most masculine guide that you can find out there and a guy wants to date the hottest girl that he can find out there that's just it's just how we're wired this is wiring it's important not to hold this against men or women because this is something that happens very unconsciously within us we're not choosing this stuff a man is not choosing to get attracted to the woman that's walking down the street he sees her she's beautiful to him and that's it in the same way that a woman doesn't choose to get attracted to a man because a man for example might come by at a party have a very good charisma and energy to him and she gets attracted after a few minutes she gets attracted because that that personality is something that she finds very masculine and strong and confident attractive she wants to be a part of that she has to be part of that masculine energy so all of us want to date up so don't be too self-righteous about this stuff women also cheat on men it's not the problem that's not a problem that that only men chained women also cheat and they treat quite a lot but I would probably assume I mean I don't have that a number so I would assume that men cheat more and the reason for that is because they're visual they get attracted much more easily than women do so I think that is the key explanation ok so that's kind of the foundation a little extra piece of that foundation is that evolutionarily speaking we're not a monogamous species I'll shoot another video about that because that's a very deep topic there's a lot of science that goes on to to make this point but you can take a look at the signs you can read books and different research that they've done but really it's pretty clear that within the animal kingdom there are various types of sexual relationships going on some animals are monogamous some animals are polyamorous some animals are are polygamous and various combinations like that now what are human beings human beings are not monogamous human beings are also not naturally polygamous human beings are in the middle they're polyamorous what does polyamorous mean that means that we have multiple sexual partners and our relationships don't tend to last long we like to screw around we're basically or the slots of the animal kingdom and there's this face a lot a lot of sense you guys for example even if you take a look at primates you take a look at various species within the primate kingdom if you can look at chimpanzees and gorillas and and other primates there you'll take a look that for example certain anatomical features will correspond to the mating style of that species for example with gorillas they they live in in troops where the one male has sex with a lot of females so that's kind of like a polygamist type of situation in that situation the male testicles are very small they don't need large testicles because they're not competing with other males to inseminate females take the opposite end of that spectrum is you've got chimpanzees who are extremely promiscuous and they have sex with everyone all the time there's no sense of relationship going on with chimpanzees so in that kind of environment the anatomical features that correspond to that is that the male is there they have extremely large testicles because they're always competing to inseminate females and so they need large testicles to carry large quantities of semen human beings are actually in the middle are testicle size is closer to chimpanzee than is to a gorilla but we're in the middle there now why am I saying all this it's not to shatter your hopes of a monogamous relationship or a marriage or anything like that if you want that you can have that all I'm saying is that that's kind of where our natural needle is settled right that's kind of our default position now you can move away from that default position but the more you move away from human nature the more trouble you're going to run into so just keep that in mind keep that in mind that we're trying to create these long term relationships you're trying to make them last and it's difficult it's difficult because we're not really wired for it neither men are no women are but we're kind of trying to do this artificial thing all righty so that's the foundation now here are the top actual specific reasons that men might cheat on you in a specific situation now everything I told you up to this point that was nice theory because understanding but you can't really change that that was human nature you're not going to change human nature so that might make you feel a little bit depressed you might say well Leo you told me all this stuff but like I'm really interested in finding that one guy for me how is this helping me you're just making me miserable and depressed you're you're making me feel even worse about my chance of finding that right guy no don't worry here's here's the you can actually take some action on that's just human nature you can't do anything about that but you can do something about this so two top reasons reason number one and number two and number three all have to do with sex so reason number one is that you're giving a bad sex the sex is bad reason number two is that the sex is stale which is different from me bad it's stale that means it was good before and now it's bad reason number three is that you're giving him no sex at all your relationship has devolved to the point where there's no sex going on so these three points actually what I want to do is I'm going to tell you the rest of the points do you have some context so they're going to go into some depth on each one so those are the first three the next one the fourth one is that you're overweight you're gaining too much weight or you're letting your appearance and your looks you're letting that go you're letting yourself go too much he's losing a traction visually to the point after that fifth point is the passion is gone so the sex might be missing but also just excitement in the relationship non-sexual passion that might be gone or maybe it wasn't there in the beginning the next point is that it's just there if a woman you got to understand if a man is is offered sex on a silver platter if some beautiful woman just comes up to him says hey would you like to have Sesame right now I don't care how loyal that guy is I don't care how moral that guy is I don't care how much he's in love with you he is going to be very tempted at the very least most guys would probably have sex and maybe if he's he's very very committed to you he'll he'll think really hard about it but he'll really have to go against his nature so sometimes you got to understand that if it's just offered to him if he if he ends up being in a situation where sex can happen easily he's most likely he's going to take that or is gonna be hard the next point reason that a man would cheat on you is he's trading up quite simply I mean he might be in a relationship with you right now because you're giving him some easy sex and it's nice but he's on the lookout for something better maybe he he really knows that he want something better he want something more attractive or maybe he knows that your lower value he's higher valued he's looking to close that gap with somebody else so that's why it's important to always be dating somebody who's you know reasonably within your league if the if the difference in value between you two is very drastic it's gonna be tough to to hold that together one or the other of you is going to be tempted to trade up the next point is that he's drunk I don't drink I've ever really drank never been a big drinker but a lot of guys do they go out partying Friday Saturday night they drink like I said stuff happens and sex is just offered it's easy it's convenient they get with another drunk girl and it happens of course this is an excuse but it's a major reason it's very hard to hold back your natural urges when you're when you're wasted so consider that and the last point that I would say is bad character he just simply has bad character now what is what does this mean bad character well no matter no matter even if the guy's attracted to you some guys out there just scumbags just like women are I mean there are bad people in the world people who aren't moral people who don't really care about being honest people who will lie constantly about stuff so if you run into a character like that you're not really good at screening character and people then you might run into people that you get into relationships with that are going to cheat on you simply because that's how they live life they cheat at not just with you but other areas of life so sometimes a cheater is just a cheater is just a cheater so you got to look out for that as well so those are the points right sex make sure the sex is good make sure it's not stale make sure that there's excitement going on make sure that from the very beginning the sex is awesome make sure that you are good in bed make sure that you study and you learn how to please a man in bed because if you can please a man in bed you know in a you know in a way that other women can't Wow that's a very good way to lock him down very good way to lock him down a man will really think twice about trading you up when he says to himself a home and she's amazing in bed very few women are that amazing in bed that's going to make them think twice about sleeping with out of the girl I guarantee it if there's no sex in your relationship at all while don't even expect for the guy to stick around that's that's pretty much disaster going on right there I don't even know why you want him to stick around if there's no sex going on that already shows dysfunction but you know sometimes marriages will turn into this is that you start having sex in your relationship once a day then once every two days then three times a week then one time a week then one time a month and then never or maybe once a year so that's what your relationship is like you're having sex once a month or once a year yeah that's so that's a big big big red flag right there you need to fix that or don't expect them to stick around your weight if you're letting yourself go in the looks department I know a lot of people are overweight these days because it's very easy given the culture the culture and how it stimulates with all the nasty and garbage food that you're eating get yourself into shape be fit for your man there's nothing that a man likes more than for his girlfriend to be nice and fit and attractive and beautiful looking that's what he wants in a girlfriend every man wants that I don't care who he is if he doesn't want that and he's full of he's lying too so he wants a fit woman make sure you take care of your nutrition make sure you take care of your exercise so that you look good passion make sure thanks there's adventure and excitement going on in the relationship make sure that you're not just him is taking you on dates and stuff but you're coming up with ideas too it always helps when the girl is coming up with stuff to do keeps more of the passion alive because the passion does tend to get lower and lower lower as the relationship ages and then other than that you know screen for those bad characters make sure your your guys and going out and getting wasted every night because if he is then it's just gonna be a matter of time before you and subside with somebody but you know don't be too paranoid I don't want to make you paranoid I want to in fact use this video to make you more grounded and we're more confident yourself sometimes guys will cheat on you sometimes got girls will cheat on guys yeah maybe maybe guys do it more often than girls but in the end that's part of human nature you can't change that it's better to just accept that that's a reality that I could always happen and then take care of some of these points that you do have control over like the quality of the sex how you look the passion that you bring into the relationship screening for bad characters if you do those things then you're going to do everything that you can and I don't want you to be bitter against men I want to I want you to to kind of just say oh okay so this is kind of how a guy thinks this is kind of why it happens I got a little bit more clarity and insight now into how this works these are just kind of some of the mechanics of life and you know it's okay I don't need to be bitter about it I don't need to be hyper-vigilant about it I don't need to assume that every man is going to cheat on me because all those are dysfunctional modes of being in a relationship you don't want that if you approach a relationship from one of those angles it's just gonna it's gonna it's going to hastin your chances of getting cheated on so don't do that go in there expecting the best of your man but also now watch out watch out for some of these factors some of these red flags that are going on all right this is Leo this is why men cheat I'm signing off go ahead and post me your comments down below I'd love to hear what women think about this also please like this click like button right now share it with a friend so that we can get more people seeing these videos I can release more and come sign up and check out the 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